Interview with Luiza Manea-Cijsouw, former circus artist

1. First, tell us a little about yourself. Who is Luiza Manea-Cijsouw?

I'm Luiza Manea, Cijsouw after my husband, I'm 40 years old, I have two little boys, one 6 years old, Milan, and one two and a half years old, Matthijs. I have been living in the Netherlands for 23 years. Born in Bucharest, I started gymnastics at the age of 5. My parents, more out of a desire to use up my energy and hoping that maybe I would start eating a bit better (I was eating pretty badly and was also very thin), gave me gymnastics. The attempt to help me eat more failed because gymnastics became my passion. I started at first just for the exercise, but later it turned out I had some talent though. Mrs. Alina Goreac, the former great gymnast Alina Goreac at that time, who was my coach in 1987, suggested two years later that I try to board at Deva, because I had a better chance of fulfilling my dream and, why not, making it to the Romanian national gymnastics team.
I liked the idea. I discussed it with my parents. My mother wasn't very happy about the choice, but she supported me. My father supported me one hundred percent. And so it was that in September 1989 I started school at the boarding school in Deva and also training. We had daily training, five hours a day, school, then training again. It was hard, but it was also very nice. I have beautiful memories, I made beautiful friendships. Nothing in life, I say, falls out of the sky and that was especially the case during my boarding school years. You learn that you have to work hard, that you don't have to depend on others, that you have to try, by your own strength, to fulfil your dreams if you really want to. Unfortunately, after 5 years, my body couldn't take it anymore. Because of nutrition problems I developed anemia of the last degree.

I had to give up gymnastics for a while, first to get my strength back. Later I realised that it was quite hard to get back into gymnastics at the level I had been at, because in those months all the other colleagues were still training at the same level and I was backing off. But one day, one weekend, when I went with my parents to a circus show, I got really excited about the acrobatics. Very excited I told my parents that I wanted to do the same. And they supported me again in my madness to try new things again. I am grateful to them for always supporting me and allowing me to try new things in life, even if it wasn't always easy. And so it was that two months later I started training in the circus with a troupe, and then followed seasons abroad. I also worked in Bucharest, at the State Circus, I had different shows, but I also worked abroad, in countries like Poland, Jordan, Kuwait, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, etc.
And so it is that my life has been full of adventure, because I have travelled a lot, met many people, other cultures, other countries, other customs and somehow I have learned to adapt quite easily to the customs of each country, but also to the customs that are in each circus. You learn to respect people, everyone has their own culture, their own religion. You learn to respect all these things and somehow adapt more easily to new situations and people. So, in short, I can say that I am a lucky person because of my parents, who allowed me to dream, allowed me to try new things and always supported me, and lucky also because, as a small child, I had the chance to travel a lot, to be always in contact with other people, regardless of nationality, regardless of religion, and I learned to respect each person.

2. What brought you to tulip country?

I came to Holland because of the circus. We got a contract to come and work in the Netherlands with the troupe and in 1999 we stepped into the Netherlands for the first time. I never imagined I would stay here.
First we travelled for years with the circus far and wide and I never imagined that we would stay, because we were used to it, that after a year, two years or depending on how the contracts were extended, we would leave for another circus in another country. However, life also has its surprises and here I am, 23 years later, still in Holland. At the moment I have no plans to return to Romania. Although I love my country immensely and I love going on holiday, I have built a life here and will stay here in the future.

3. Have you had to change your career path in all these years living in the Netherlands? Has it been difficult? Did you have difficulties with the language?

Being a circus acrobat and a former competitive gymnast, the moment I stopped circus it was quite a big change in my life, but I can say that I accepted the challenge and took this step. I didn't speak Dutch at the time, because a lot of English was spoken in the circus and I didn't have to learn it - mainly because I didn't think I would stay in Holland for good - but slowly, slowly, I started learning on the fly. I first got a job at a holiday park, cleaning holiday homes. It was a first step when I still didn't know the language. Then I started to pick up more and more words on the fly. I had people who helped me and guided me, that's how I found out about the school where I could learn Dutch better. I went to the school for 6 months, three days a week, and this made me much better.

Knowing the Dutch language, I started coaching at 3 different clubs, where children of different ages came, both girls and boys. They were all doing gymnastics at a recreational level, not at a performance level. I also coached girls for a year who trained at a higher level, but not at the level of performance that I, as a child, had practiced. But I loved being back in the gym, working on different machines, showing the kids and explaining it to them. Unfortunately, because of health problems (a bad knee), I stopped training because being in the gym made it hard to stop myself from doing something and it was too damaging. I then tried other things and then, at some point, I got the chance to get a job at an ice cream parlour that was about to open. It was the best choice because from there I grew up and ended up working in the hotel and restaurant business. I worked for ten years in this field. It was good for me that I had taken the Dutch language course, because I could communicate better, I could write emails, talk to customers. So I can say that when you know the language well, you can find a job much easier. I was lucky enough to meet people who gave me a chance, who taught me a lot of things, who helped me a lot and who didn't make a difference because I came from another country or because I didn't know the language at the beginning. They were all open to help me. In the beginning it's harder to find that job that you really like, but I say that with perseverance and courage you can do a lot. And I also think it's important to learn Dutch if you want to settle here.

4. We all know that one of the biggest challenges for expats is caring for young children, as the family is far away and the period of maternity leave is much shorter compared to Romania. How did you manage to balance your domestic and professional responsibilities after becoming a mother?

My life has changed a lot since becoming a mother. Here maternity leave is not as long as in Romania (you have three months after our baby is born, that is if you stop working 4 weeks before the birth, otherwise you have even less time). It was quite hard, but I was lucky that the first year after I had my eldest boy, my parents were still with me in the Netherlands (they lived in the Netherlands for 6 years, then returned to Romania). They helped me whenever I needed it. Of course I had and still have a lot of help from my in-laws and my sister who also lives here in the Netherlands, very close to me. It's just that after my parents came back to Romania, the situation became a bit more difficult. I relied on my sister's help for a long time, but then her work situation also changed. Since she is growing up and taking a lot of classes and working at the same time, it's harder to call on her every week to help me with the children.

At the moment I rely a lot on the help of my parents-in-law and my parents (when I come to the Netherlands, which is about once a year, a few months), both to leave the children with them so I can go to work and to help me with the housework. I feel like I spoil myself during the months my parents are here because they help me a lot. When they leave, it's always hard for me to resume all my duties. But I'm lucky enough to have a husband who helps me enormously, we share the chores somewhat, one takes the children to school in the morning, the other picks them up. I, for example, go into work very early, but I finish early and then I can pick up the children from school and nursery and then I'm home with them. The husband starts later and can take them in the morning, but comes home later. My in-laws also help us, but we try not to use their help more than one day a week. But if there are emergencies, we call on them again. It's not always easy when you have children and a job. You have to plan your schedule well in advance because you can't just leave whenever you want, you have to take certain things into account, like breastfeeding. You may have a harder time, but nothing is impossible. In my case, I'm lucky that my husband is equally committed and then he gives me the freedom to work. Working as a team, raising children doesn't seem as hard.

5. How is the community you live in, did you feel welcome in the West? 

I have had some very good, big-hearted people who have welcomed me into their community from the very beginning. In the beginning, when I still didn't know Dutch - I had just stopped with the circus and decided to take a different path - there were people who guided me, gave me advice on finding a job, then helped me to enrol in school to learn Dutch better, there were people who kind of welcomed me with open arms. At the moment, it seems to me that the community I live in is made up of open people, people who understand each other's problems much better and try to help each other. I notice especially with mums with children the same age as mine that they understand better the problems that arise and then we often try to help each other. I am glad that I have never been seen as an outsider, but as one of their own who has lived here for many years and they have never made any differences.

6. If you were to draw a parallel between Romania and the Kingdom of the Netherlands, what differences do you see in economic, social and cultural terms?

I don't feel able to draw a parallel between Romania and the Netherlands from an economic, social and cultural point of view, as I lived abroad more than in Romania and I was a child during my years in Romania. In any case, it is well known that the Netherlands is an economically strong country and this brings many advantages. There are people here who put their children and their future before other things. The medical system is much better than in Romania. I would have liked to see in Romania a medical system like in the Netherlands, but who knows, maybe in ten years it will be like that there too. Otherwise, it's hard for me to give my opinion because I haven't spent much time in Romania, and I don't have the experience to talk about these things.

7. One last question, given that you have been living in the West for some time: do you have any advice for Romanians thinking of emigrating?

My advice to those who want to emigrate to the Netherlands - because we are talking about the Netherlands now - would be to try to learn Dutch. When you learn the language, you can integrate more easily into the community, and by integrating more easily, you learn a lot more, you get more help. I've noticed that the Dutch really appreciate your effort to learn their language and adapt to their way of life and they become more open and jumpy. And anyone who emigrates to the Netherlands should not think that dogs with bagels in their tails walk here. It's not always easy and they have to learn that there are harder times, that you can't always find a high-paying job, sometimes you have to start from the bottom to get ahead, but with perseverance you can achieve your goals and dreams.

 

Interview by Magda Mincu.

Magda has been living in the Netherlands since 2012 with her family. She is a translator by profession (predominantly from Dutch into Romanian) and has been part of the marketing team of the Rompro Foundation since early 2022. She chose to become a volunteer in the Foundation primarily out of a desire to socialize with other Romanians living in the Netherlands, but also to help with information and translations.