Netherlands - First steps abroad and what I wish someone had told me a year ago

The title probably sounds like a kind of farewell letter, or a regret that the time machine hasn't been invented yet. But it doesn't. As a student in my first year away from home, I learned a lot. Easy, or not. And I'm glad that today we all have the opportunity to share our knowledge and help others. I don't want the following lines to sound like an apocalyptic, or anti-Western message. I just want it to be a simple account of the lessons I learned in my first 8 months in a foreign country, away from the bubble I knew like the back of my hand and the universe where I found things ready-made. Moving to a new place is challenging enough, but when you're 18, you've always lived with your parents, in the same block and on the first floor, you might be a little harder hit by the new life you've chosen for yourself. Here are some of my experiences:

1. Dutch sounds like English until you get there

The first thing you see in any country: billboards. Airports, shops, trains, anything you can think of is in a totally different language to what you knew. Beforehand you prepare yourself, you know it sounds like English, you think it's going to be fine. Then words like ,,vertrek", ,,spoor" greet you and you realise you don't know where you've landed. Hearing people speak is also a challenge. The sounds have nothing to do with normal pronunciation and the sentences spoken around you are ambiguous. One useful thing though is people's openness to help you when needed and their ability to speak even discernible English. That's a welcome help in a sea of uncertainty that's just beginning.

2. Shopping is actually a necessity, not fun

That sounds logical enough, until you wake up with an empty fridge and surprise, no one will fill it for you. After you make up a shopping list (which you forget about anyway and only realize at home), you get to the store and realize that you don't know where what you need is, that they don't have the products you used to eat at home, and that nothing you see on the shelf looks like what you knew before. Then, unless your name is Ion Tiriac, you'll notice a difference in price between two similar products here and at home. Unwittingly, this is how you find out about inflation, differences in living and income, the economic situation and so on. Finally, you arrive at the checkout, where you will try to pay with your card from home, which is probably Visa or Mastercard, and find to your astonishment that this process does not work. You're asked to pay with cash, after which you transport your treasure home by bike and can finally enjoy what you've bought. An acquired first meal, after an exhausting ritual that has to be repeated weekly. Now that's a warm welcome!

3. If you don't clean up after yourself, no one will do it for you

That, or wait until your room becomes uninhabitable. At first, this threshold may be harder to reach, but as time goes by, the clothes thrown away and the dust will become unbearable. And it's normal, after a long day at school, you just want to eat something and watch a movie before going to bed, that's what happens at home. Except there, the cleanliness was self-evident. Here, the lack of it won't let you enjoy the magic of your free time, which is still not much.

4. You find out your own timetable and there is no one to help you with other essential information

And that's overwhelming at first. Whether it's college, or a job. Things are very different in the Netherlands than in Romania. People are open to help you, but they won't repeat what they have to say over and over again. When I started university, I was very used to and attached to the high school way of working, when you were told 3-4 times what to do. Now it's your responsibility and you decide how quickly you learn the things that interest you. I do, however, appreciate the digitization of processes, which included removing the rail file, or going to the secretary's office haunted by not so friendly ghosts. In Romania I was afraid of being a nuisance, now I'm confident I can rely on people to help me.

5. Moving out on your own doesn't seem hard, until you actually do it

At a certain age, staying with your parents can get boring. Different interests, different times of the day come with age-specific activities and the usual divergences. That's why many high school leavers would like to move out on their own. That's how I used to be, until I saw firsthand what that meant. Moving luggage, cleaning the room, food, and most importantly, keeping order in these matters. On the mental side, living alone is a blessing, but also a curse. When I was at home, being alone was very soothing. When I arrived in the Netherlands, it was hard to cope, I seemed to miss things outside the room. Things have calmed down in the meantime, I've come to cherish this time spent alone, but initially, I really wished I'd actually known what it was like to live on my own, without knowing anyone and without being helped in any way.

Bonus: All's well when you do the things you like, the way you like them and when you like them

The advice that sounds the simplest and has been the hardest to implement. It's not easy not to bend your ear to what's going around these days, but you really don't have to. All things come in time, like rainbows after a long rain. Probably the advice I'd give to anyone in my shoes from a year ago is that we shouldn't force ourselves to like something if it's not for us. I've had times where I've forgotten that and it's affected me, and the least I can do is share. We always have to put ourselves first and find our rhythm, so if some days seem slow, let's take them as such and see how we can turn that to our advantage. 

Article by Horia Marin.

Horia is a first year student in the Netherlands studying Marketing Management. He joined the Rompro team recently to share his student experiences in the Netherlands and to help those moving here get a smoother start. She is an outgoing person who likes to get involved in as many activities as possible and help as many people as possible. However, she hates Dutch cuisine and public transport delays.